February Goals

Well, I've done fairly well with my Resolutions/January Goals, but I still need to work on them. Here's what I'm going to be focusing on this month:

- Reading my scriptures daily
- Attend at least 1 aerobics class a week (it's been rough, between working and school and more working.)
- Pray Daily
- Write in journal regularly
- Have fun
- Keep room and desk clear
- Finish all homework (I don't care when, as long as it's before class starts)
- Do laundry more regularly (So I don't have to skip class and do 6 loads at the same time)
- Read February Ensign
- Read at least one talk from Conference Ensign a week

I think these are pretty good. Pretty reasonable. They're stemming from my Resolutions, but things I need to continue working on. Some have been slightly modified, and that's okay. I'm okay with it.

Official

I just had to share a few things. One, I really liked how this "teacher outfit" pulled together. I really felt like I fit the part, and really liked how I looked.

Second, this is the lovely badge I get to wear every day I'm in the highschool. Lovely, isn't it?

Third, I'm not so scared any more. I was so worried about the abundance of knowledge my students were going to have, and how stupid I was going to look in front of them, but I'm not any more. I was able to interact with them, and they're really not all that bad after all.

Because That means it's okay

I just wanted to relate to you a conversation I had with my mom the other night.

Me: Hey, I bought you a sweater on clearance at work today.

Mom: Oh, how ugly is it?

Me: I think it's cute... I bought one for me, for my professional wardrobe, just in a different color.

Mom: Oh, well then, that means it's okay.


I just thought this was cute. As long as I bought one for myself, then it's cute.

Outfits

Ever since I was little, I've needed a new outfit for a special occasion. I don't know if this is something I came up with on my own, or if it was encouraged by mother, and then has stuck with me, either way, I've always needed a new outfit to signify a momentous aspect of my life.

Last year, it was a Christmas party.

A few years ago, it was a date with a specific boy.

Before that it was dances.

Before that it was the first day of school.

Whatever the occasion, I've always felt the need to have a new outfit. Gives me confidence, or something.

So here is my new outfit for Tuesday.

What is tuesday you ask? Well, Tuesday is my first day interacting in the high school with students. We have to dress professionally, so I had to have something to wear, (not to mention new shoes. :D)

He’ll Carry Me!

He knows your heart, He knows your pain
He knows the strength it took just to simply breathe today
He sees the tears that you cry
He knows your soul is aching to know why
He hears your prayers each humble word
When you said you couldn’t face another day he understood
He knows the path when you walk blind
Though you felt alone He’s never left your side

He knew there’d be moments when no earthly words
Could take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step, and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

He’ll bring you peace and leave you hope
And in the darkest night He’ll comfort you
Until you know the sun will rise and each new day
You will have the strength to live again

And in the moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes can see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

He hears you when you’re crying in the night
He hears you when your soul longs to fight
Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures

That in the moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

These are the beautiful lyrics to a song by Hilary Weeks called “He Will Carry You”

Scared

I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit one carnal fear that I hold:

I’m scared that I will never find any one and will live a life alone.

It’s a silly fear, I’ll admit, but a valid one. What if I never find anyone? I’ve only dated one man in my entire life, and we all know that ended poorly. (Actually you don’t, but unimportant.)

I know my weaknesses consist of an inability to easily make friends, my lack of church attendance for the past year and a half or so, being a “jealous partner” of sorts, and the fear of making a mistake.

Most of you know, or can infer by now, that my parent’s marriage left something to be desired, and I fear that I will end up in a similar situation. I do not want this.

All the while, I have made the commitment to return to church this year, and so far I’ve got 1 of 1. It’s a start.

I’ve also enrolled in Institute this semester, as well as planned out my day and a way to work out 3-5 times a week.

These are all things that will help, I’m sure but the one thing that I have the most surety is the calm reassurance from my Heavenly Father: “Be still, and know that I am God.” He has a plan for me, I just need to listen to Him more carefully to be able to overcome my fear(s) and weaknesses.

Society

I found this sign when on my drive home to Colorado. So I'm kind of cheating at my "daily photo" but I wanted to share this picture none the less.

When I saw this sign, I was almost in shock. I've encountered MANY people while at Sam's Club who think it's appropriate for them to carry on a conversation on their cell phones and are irritated when I interrupt them for the necessary questions to finish their transactions. But I never found it necessary to post a sign, as this McDonald's has.

I cry for humanity and for the society we have created. We have lost the courtesy to hang up the phone long enough to simply go through a drive through and order food. We keep telling ourselves (speaking as society, and not for myself) that we are more connected because of texting and cell phones, but in reality, we're not. We're more disconnected than we have ever been. We don't have the common courtesy to give 5 minutes of our time to a poor minimum wage working high schooler who doesn't want to be there in the first place.