Scared

I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit one carnal fear that I hold:

I’m scared that I will never find any one and will live a life alone.

It’s a silly fear, I’ll admit, but a valid one. What if I never find anyone? I’ve only dated one man in my entire life, and we all know that ended poorly. (Actually you don’t, but unimportant.)

I know my weaknesses consist of an inability to easily make friends, my lack of church attendance for the past year and a half or so, being a “jealous partner” of sorts, and the fear of making a mistake.

Most of you know, or can infer by now, that my parent’s marriage left something to be desired, and I fear that I will end up in a similar situation. I do not want this.

All the while, I have made the commitment to return to church this year, and so far I’ve got 1 of 1. It’s a start.

I’ve also enrolled in Institute this semester, as well as planned out my day and a way to work out 3-5 times a week.

These are all things that will help, I’m sure but the one thing that I have the most surety is the calm reassurance from my Heavenly Father: “Be still, and know that I am God.” He has a plan for me, I just need to listen to Him more carefully to be able to overcome my fear(s) and weaknesses.