My Favorite Childhood Movie

I used to love this movie when I was a small child. It's still a favorite though.

My favorite Game

This is my favorite game to play. No one really wins or looses, but everyone still has a great time playing.

My favorite holiday

I love Easter. I love Spring. It has always been my favorite holiday, and probably always will.

My Favorite Beverage

I would be LYING to you, if I didn't admit that this was my beverage of choice.

And NO I will not substitute it for anything! Including Diet, Caffine Free, or that Nasty Mr.Pibb Extra stuff! YUCK!

Which reminds me... maybe I'll go enjoy some delishishness right now.

My favorite Solace

The picture speaks for itself.

My Favorite Book

I was introduced to this book when I was in the 7th grade. This book changed my life. I love it. For no reason in particular, other than I aspire to be who I want to be, just like star girl.

I recently purchased it (I've only checked it out of the library 8 times since my first reading), and I encourage all of you to make the same investment.

Also, Jerry Spinelli just wrote a sequel to this book called: Love, Stargirl

I also just bought this book as well, so I'll tell you whether or not it's any good.

Although I bet it is, considering.

My favorite Christmas Song

My Favorite Temple

I LoVe the Monticello Temple, immensely. It was the first small temple ever to be built. I went to the dedication, and I shook President Hinkley's hand.

Ever since I was there when this sacred building was dedicated, I have wanted to be married here.

There really has never been an alternative; I am getting married here.

My favorite Pasttime

Even now, at the age of 21, I still love bubbles. I ask my mom for them every year for every holiday... every holiday that matters anyway (Easter, and my birthday).

And every year, she makes fun of me.

But, as you can see, I don't care! (21st birthday)

My favorite roommate

I know I shouldn't have a favorite, but Lura has a special place in my heart. I've had great roommates since, and they all come in very close second, but Lura takes it by a hair.

She was my freshman roommate and the first person I ever shared a room with. I love her dearly, and miss our nightly talks falling asleep.

My Favorite Red High Heels

I just bought these a few days ago, but they're a favorite!

I've been looking for them for a year. And when I say them, I mean red high heels, and because I'm super picky when it comes to shoes, they have been hard to find. But these are super comfy and make me feel so feminine, which is always really nice.

My Favorite Day of the Semester

THE LAST DAY!!!!

Even though, technically, my last day was yesterday, because I didn't have any classes on Fridays this semester, which was FANTASTIC!

But seriously, I am so HAPPY when the semester is over! It means I am that much closer to being done.

And if any of you were wondering, which I know you all were, I have 3 semesters left!!!! And that includes student teaching!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I will be graduating next spring. 2011.

Favorite Picture

This is tied for my ALL time favorite picture of Christ. I came across this my freshman year when I was doing a Christmas gift exchange, and I was trying to find something for the name I drew (which happened to be Tat, strangely enough.) I fell in love with this picture, so I bought it and gave it to Tat for his Christmas present, leaving a few days later for home.

When I got back to school I found on my bed the same picture I bought for Tat, but for me. My friend Kylee knew how much I loved the picture, that she bought one and framed it so I could have one as well. This picture is so calming and loving, and so appropriately named "Lo, I am With you always."

(Traci Douglass created this masterpiece I love)

My Favorite Nephew

Actually, he's my only nephew the little stinker, but he definately is a favorite of mine.

And with Brent and Patricia having another little girl in a few weeks that makes Tobin the only little boy on both sides of the family, so he gets extra spoiled, but that face is just too cute to not!

I can't wait to see him in 2 1/2 weeks! I haven't seen him since May and I'm having massive Tobin withdrawls. So we're getting some quality T&T time in for a couple of days.

Goals for December

1. Finish all of my final papers the night before they're due.
2. Study for my only actual final I have.
3. Pray Daily.
4. Read at least 5 books off of my 'list'
5. Read the book for my clinical class next semester.
6. Make peace at home, when the house will be filled to the seams with people.
7. Make the most of every minute I have with Brent and Emma.
8. Remember who I am at all times.
9. Get at least one plus for every day I work (Sams Club encourages it, and threaten us with our jobs to get a plus upgrade every day that we work. They let me go home, the least I can do is try to get what they ask for)

Favorite Things

For the month of December I'm going to be blogging my favorite things. Then in January, I promise, it'll be back to good ol' boring, regular blogging. Seriously!

Anyway, for the first one this month is this picture. I fell in love with this picture in Aprilish and I just HAD to have it. So this year I bought it when I came up to school. It now sits right above my computer, and it is one of my favorite pictures of ALL time.

(If you're wondering, it is from David Bowman)

Just Enough Time

This week will be a crazy one!

I have just barely enough time to get everything done.

I have 5 papers (I hope that's all) to write, 4 lesson plans, 30+ hours of work and RA conferences.

I don't have much time for anything, even sleep, (so I probably shouldn't be on here blogging away, but.....)

I am glad that I have learned how to budget my time and have just enough to get through everything I need to get through.

Going Home.

I'm going home. I'm thankful that I have the ability to do so.

I have a car, and I have money to get me there.


I am really happy that my boss, FINALLY after a lot of back and forthness, is allowing me to go home and spend the whole 2 weeks that Brent has off with Brent and my family.

I'm SOOOO Excited for Chrismas!!

I just wrapped all the presents I've bought, and I love it. The feeling is so good.



I am so grateful (once again) that I will be able to go home for 2 weeks at Christmas.



I am so grateful that my WHOLE family will be together for Christmas! (Minus Lily. I keep telling Patricia to tell Lily to hurry up so we really all can be together...)



But I'm so excited!

Thanksgiving

Today I woke up early. I couldn't sleep. The one day I am able to sleep in for as long as I want, and I can't.

I'm not super excited about this day, but I'm not dreading today either. I guess I'm kind of lackadaisical about today.

Last night when I got home from work there were about 10 cars outside my complex. Now there's just mine.

I am sad I don't have a close family, because if I did, I wouldn't have gone as far away as I did. But I needed to get away from my family when I was 17. I needed a change.

Now, I sit looking out the window wondering if all was worth it. I'm guessing so. I don't know yet. Maybe when I'm in a black cap and gown next year receiving my diploma, I will feel as if being far away was worth it.

But truly today, I have so much to be thankful for:
I have my life.
I have my faith.
I have the gospel.
I have my almost finished degree.
I have my family.
I have a roof over my head every night.
I have warm blankets.
I have shoes on my feet.
I have clothes on my back.
I have an institution which allows me to hold my opinions, while teaching me the opinions of others.
I have my life.
I have opportunities.
I have the ability to attain the American Dream
I have friends.

I'm sure I could go on and on. But, I am very blessed.

I have so much.

My job

I am so thankful to have a job right now. I have been really stressed out trying to scrounge together enough money to pay for tuition next semester, and then I wasn't going to have any money for anything else, including food.

I started my job the beginning of October and was promised to have time off for when Brent has his military leave. Long story short, the people who told me I could have that time off no longer were able to make that decision and my time off was rejected.

Today, after about 2 weeks of harrassing my store manager, I was once again given permission to have 2 weeks off to go home.

I am so happy I don't have to quit, and can save up enough money to pay for school! And I can start saving for next year, as well as be able to have a little extra money for other little things. That's one thing I've hated about college, is that I only ever have enough for the essentials.

I can't come down from the clouds because I've been so upset the last few weeks about not being able to get off, and having to probably quit my job just to see my brother. No fun.

I am so thankful for my job, and thankful that I've made a good impression that they don't want me to quit!

Disciples of Christ

I'm thankful today for people who care for me. People, who sometimes, I feel, care more about me than I do.

A Bad Day

I know that this month, I'm supposed to be posting about things I am thankful for, but today I am having a BAD day, and am having a hard time thinking of much I can be thankful for.

I guess I am thankful for bad days, because it makes me appreciate the non-bad days that much more.


So now that we have my "thankful" can I tell you about my bad day?

I don't know why it was so "bad" but I kind of woke up that way. I woke up feeling out of sorts and unrested. I took a shower and got ready to go to church. I was running a little behind, but not much, and my roommate says "I'm leaving. Do you want me to save you a seat?" I responded sure. She left and I started to cry. I went back to bed in my dress and just lay there for 2 hours. I couldn't muster myself to get up again.

When I finally got out of bed, I changed clothes and cleaned up my room, thinking that is why I didn't feel well. When things get messy, my focus becomes messy, so I cleaned my room, and my desk. Still felt blahzay. So I got my stuff together so I could go to the library, but the library was closed. My luck.

So I just kind of drove around Logan for a while. My mom called, which you would think would make me feel better, but it didn't. It just made everything worse, because she doesn't like to listen to me for some reason.

I then took cookies to some friends, and they were thankful, but it just wasn't doing any good. I don't know why, but today has been bad.

I don't like being sad. It doesn't help that people exacerbate that sadness by saying and doing things. Even little things.

I think it's because the holidays are so close, and I don't get to go home. I like having a job, indeed I'm very thankful that I have my job, but I miss home. I miss my doggies. I miss the smell. I miss the scene. I just really want to go home.

I am stuck in Logan due to my job this week. I don't get to go home. I have to close the night before Thanksgiving, and I work the next morning.

I really was okay with this. Until my roommate kept telling me I wasn't allowed to stay by myself, and I wouldn't be okay. Etc., etc. But really I was. She insisted I had to go to her house, and as much as I don't like being with my family, I like being with her family even less.

But she's made me so angry about it, that now I'm not okay with it... or maybe I'm not okay with her. Either way, I'm peeved.

Whatever. I just want to go home. I also want her to stop badgering me. I'm sorry for the whiney post, but really? Really?

I'm praying tomorrow will be a good day. I need a good day in my life.

Family Recipes

I love making recipes I grew up with. Tonight I made some "Candy Cane Cookies", but they didn't turn out like my mom's.

They taste the same, but they don't look nearly as pretty as hers do.

Trials

I am thankful for my trials.


Don't get me wrong, I absolutely HATE them, but I am grateful for the opportunity to perservere through them, because I know I'm going to be a stronger individual and daughter of God when I'm done.

I just hope, when I am done with the current trials I am experiencing, that God gives me a break for a small time.

To Be Me

To be me isn't easy. I wouldn't curse that upon anyone else in the world. But I'm grateful that I am me. It's kind of a weird paradox but it's the truth.

I'm comfortable being who I am. I'm comfortable saying what I think. I'm okay being in my own skin.

So when I get comments, such as "are you expecting?" or "what a cute little baby bump!", I can easily just brush these comments off. I know I'm chubby, and I know that my body collects my fat in my stomach. I know this, but I'm okay. I don't get down when people say this. I've done it, so I can't be mad.

I also am okay to do things by myself. I'm a very independent person. I've been alone most of my life. For the longest time I always thought that I was different from my peers because of my religion, but when I moved to Utah, I was still different, so I know my religion had nothing to do with it. That's just who I am. I am kind of a loner, and I'm okay with that.

I'm okay with who I am, but for some reason other people aren't. Small tangent. My roommates today wouldn't let me leave the apartment without calling/texting a boy or two to go bowling with me. I don't get that. I wanted to go bowling. Going with a boy wasn't going to change how I played or the fact that I was going. But they for some reason, had it in their heads that I needed a boy to fulfill me. This kind of bothered me. In fact, it kind of ticked me off. I climbed out the window after pushing out the screen, because that's who I am.

I have never understood why people are afraid to do things by themselves. I think my background has conditioned me to do what I want regardless. My mom goes to church and sits by herself, because she knows that's where she needs to be. Just because no one talks to her, doesn't mean she stops going. My mom fixes "problems" without calling anyone, because we never had anyone to call. My mom would go to my school alone, because that's what she needed to do. So I look at "dating" and at "marriage" and "social lives" and they're kind of a joke to me. My roommates are so insecure that they can't go anywhere without having someone to go with. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it, regardless of any body else. That's just who I am.


I am thankful that I am me, and that I'm secure with who I am, because I am unafraid to be alone.

A Day Off- Sort Of

As much as I love my job, I'm grateful I don't have to go in today. I was at work last night until 10:00pm and I have a lot of homework to do this morning, so of course I am blogging! But I enjoy a day off from at least one stresser in my life.

Friday the 13th

I'm not superstitious as a general rule, but I was reading a friend of a friend's blog, and they had the worst friday the 13th I can ever imagine for a person. I can't even imagine what they must be going through. The Fleener Family is a friend of a friend, and I don't know them personally, but I've read their blog the last few days, and I can't even imagine feeling what they are feeling.

They lost their healthy 2 month old boy to a freak incident that no one can explain. One minute he was a healthy happy baby, the next he's not breathing. This kind of thing scares me to pieces about having children.

But I am thankful for the amazing knowledge of eternal families, that they will be reunited with their son after this life, and this is not the end.

Brent

Brent is my oldest brother. I am so thankful for him in my life and for the example he has set before me.

I've mentioned in previous posts, our family isnt very close, but Brent has always been the one I look up to and admire. I love him in the most sincere way possible.

Here are some of the actions he has taken that make me thankful for him:
1. His honorable mission he served to Riverside California
2. His marriage to a returned missionary
3. His ability to be a great father despite his poor example
4. His encouragement of me and all that I do
5. His constant testimony

Brent has always thought highly of me, and has always told me so. Whenever I need to feel better about myself, is when I need a chat with my bro. I love and admire him so much. I know his life is tough right now, but he has shown me through his example the way to perservere through those hardships.

Sleep

Last night I was a bit sleep deprived, a bit meaning a whole whopping 2 hours of sleep after a 14 hour day of school and work, followed by 4 hours of homework, with 2 hours of sleep. Then another 2 hours of homework, 5 hours of work, and 8 hours of school. I am thankful for a warm inviting bed, that is oh so comfortable now that I have a mattress pad and don't feel every spring in the 40 year old mattress!

Tonight I plan on sleeping GooD!

Enough.

I am glad that I have just enough.

I don't have to worry about going hungry, or naked, or anything like that.

I am glad that I have just enough to get me by.

I've realized that the problem with our country is greed. Everyone is so greedy and has to have bigger and better things, and the minute they have an extra dollar in their account, they go and buy a $1200 television set, or a 4-wheeler, or new something.

I've never had much in my life, but I have always had just enough. Just enough for exactly what I need, exactly when I've needed it.

Memories

I LoVe this picture. Beyond words do I love this picture. This was from my freshman year of college, and probably the most candid picture that has ever been taken of me.

I was going through pictures with my current roommate and I came across this one, and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Those were some good times. I have had great times since then, but this was a night to remember. I had milk spit in my face. Coffee cake was spit across the table. Lura and I lauged so hard we peed our pants, though I admit it and Lura won't.

*smile*

Friends

And more specifically today: "my Daves"

These boys have been an absolute blessing in my life. I have never known such wonderful individuals in my life. They are some of the best friends I have ever had in my life. I met them my freshman year and they've been there ever since. Whether through letters (they were on missions for two years), random phone calls when I need them most, or just being my friend, they have been some of the most inspiring Christ-like people I have ever known.

David Payne, is seriously the most amazing person I have ever met. I don't know how to explain it, but his personality is magnetic for how caring and calm he is. I know he has struggles just like everyone else, but he is always willing to help with mine, and I don't know why. My freshman year, he spent an entire night encouraging me when I threw a pity party for myself. I felt so bad, because he had a HUGE math test the next day he should have been studying for, but my pity party was much more important to him.

Also, just last night, I texted him if he could do me a favor. He said sure. I asked him if he would take an institute class with me and even offered an explanation as to why I wanted him to do such a strange favor for me. He didn't need an explanation, and he was more than willing to do it.

I had my explanation ready: I haven't been to institute since my sophmore year, and every time I try to go, I stop going, because I feel like I don't have any friends in that class, I have too many credits, or this that or the other. I feel if I have a friend in a class with me, I will have an easier time going back to institute and have an easier time going back to church.

What a wonderful person he is.

This is David Eldredge, or Tat as I call him. Tati is Romanian for Dad. So if you haven't guessed yet, he was my FHE dad my freshman year, and though he told me on numerous times, "just call me dad" those of you who know my relationship with my father, know I couldn't do that, so Tat became the alternative.

The first week of school this year I had a family emergency. My family has been falling apart for a while, but this was serious. I didn' t know who to call, because I was trying to get church member's help in another state, in a place where I've never attended. I had not yet been to my ward, and I was calling anyone and everyone I could think of. Well, during this phone-calling escapade I had dialed Tat's number, but he didn't answer. So I called more people. After I finally got in touch with the right people, Tat called me back. I told him in a very vague sort of way what I was doing, but everything was fine now. He asked me where I was, and I told him I was at my apartment. He told me he was coming right then.

Dave had never been to my apartment, and five minutes later he called me from the parking lot, because he didn' t know which one was mine. I opened the door, and the minute he put his arms around me I started bawling. I seriously cried. I have never felt so much love before. He told me I needed someone just as much as every single one of my family members needed someone, and I didn't need to be alone. After I was done crying, we just sat and talked, like old times.

This is the true meaning of friendship. He had much better things to do on a Friday night I'm sure, but he spent it with me in my time of need.

Sorry for my extra-long post about boys, but they're more than that, and I hope you see that.

Goals for November

I know this is kind of late, but better late than never.

#1. Finish all written assignments by Thanksgiving

#2. Make my bed every day

#3. Keep my room picked up and clean.

#4. Keep my desk cleared off

#5. Read my scriptures at least once a day

#6. Save enough for tuition for next semester

#7. Keep perspective

#8. Remain Sane

#9. Bowl at least 3 games in the 160s

#10. Smile and laugh daily.

Forgiveness

I know that my first "thankful" post was about my Savior, but I truly am grateful that I know and have Him in my life. Today I watched Glenn Beck, and watched him talk a little about his conversion story, and I realized more than ever how truly grateful I am.

Even more so, I am so incredibly grateful for His forgiveness, and the sacrifice he made for me.

I haven't been so kind to Him lately, and I know that, and I know I need to change.

But how wonderful it is, that I am able to return to His open arms, and His loving contenance, enabling me to utilize His forgiveness in my life.

Thanks to the atonement I am able to be the person I want to be, regardless of the countless stupid things I have done the past year or so.

Education

I am thankful for my opportunity I have been given to earn my education. It has not been an easy road, but I am really grateful for all of it. I have worked my tail off every summer so I can earn enough to go through the school year without any loans.

So far I have been in school for 3 1/2 years debt free. Unfortunately I still have a year and a half left. This last year is going to be the hardest. I had trouble finding a job this summer, and, well long story short, I am now working so I can pay for next semester.



But I am so grateful.

Thankful for You.

For the month of November, I am only going to post things I am grateful for. I think so often in this life we forget to "give thanks" for what we truly hold dear to our hearts. That, and the fact that school gets kind of crazy this last month of the semester, and I won't be able to spend a lot of time blogging (as you can tell from my lack of scaries this last week.) I think it might be a little easier than coming up with scary things. That was tough!

Today, Today I am grateful for:

I am grateful for the knowledge I have of my Savior, and the sacrifices He made the way so I could be here today, learning and growing through Him.

Scary #31

In a weird way, I think Remus Lupin was correct when speaking to Harry Potter about fear itself is what he most fears.

I often feel that way too. I'm scared of being scared. I'm afraid of being afraid.

Though most everything else I've talked about this month I don't like, I don't think I actually hold a deep fear for.

The Scariest Costume EvEr

I just want you to know, the following image is quite frightening.

It just may be the scariest costume I have ever worn.

Brace yourselves, it really is quite something.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

It's a bit graphic?

Okay.

I'll let you see it.

See!

I told you it was scary!

Scary #23

So, I've been standing in this "place" for quite some time now. I don't know which way I should "go". I'm scared that if I go "left" I'll regret it the rest of my life. But I think I know what I'll get if I go that way, and it's not horrible.

If I go the "right" way, uncertainty is waiting for me.

I shirk from decisions. Especially life altering ones.

Scary #22

I'm not too particularly fond of this women....

Scary #21

I'm okay being in the dark. What I don't like is being outside alone in the dark. That's what I really don't like.

Scary #20

So this weekend I went to a haunted corn maze.

I'm not particularly fond of anything with "haunted" in the name, but it's something I've never done before, so I sucked it up and went.

I hated it the entire time I was in it.

After I was out however, I thought the maze was just fine.

Scary #19

Heights.

Scary #18

This picture.

*Shudders*

Scary #17

I don't want to get old. I'm already feeling at times my body is failing me. Can you imagine 50 years from now? Me either!

Scary #16

I may never find this.

Scary #15

I have never enjoyed haunted houses.

Ever.

Since I was a little girl.

Scary #14

I hate grades. All they tell you is whether or not you succeeded in impressing a teacher. Rarely are they a reflection on what we really know. However, when I don't get the bright red grade, I start to have a hard time breathing. I don't like seeing the other letters.

One Good Movie

I just got home from the movies. I went to the movie theatre by myself, so naturally, I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I saw an ad for this movie during General Conference, and let's just say my interest was piqued.

Well, I have to say this movie was well worth the money!

One Good Man made my day, and my week, and my month, and very possibly my year, but that's pushing it.

I am really sensitive about the issues raised in the movie, due to my lack of "mormon-ey influences" in my life. (I couldn't think of a good way to say that.) I had the whole movie theatre to myself, and I for the life of me, cannot think of why. This movie is A-mazing! Truly inspiring, and worth the time.

I cried, a lot. Maybe because the challenges faced in this movie are somewhat real to me. Maybe I could empathize a little. Maybe because I was envious. Whatever the reason, I am SOOOOOO glad I saw it. Made me realize there is a lot more to life than we realize.

I will say this, however, so you don't go see it and then get mad at me. The acting at times is a little cheezy, and not the best. But please, for me, go see this movie.

I'll give you a little teaser, ready?
I cried A LOT when Aaron (the main character) goes to the Temple for his daughter's wedding.

When you see the movie, you'll understand why.

And the other thing you all need to know: I NEVER cry in movies. The last movie I cried in was Charly.

So now, go watch this A-mazing movie, please?

Scary #13

What if I never achieve what God has available to me? What if I stay a spindly tree, when I have the potential to be huge?

Scary #12

I'm really scared about being a mother.

Having the responsibility for another human being, and teaching them the essentials to succeed in life, and protecting them from the evils in this world... It's terrifying.

Scary #11

Failure.

We're all going to experience it, but I'm scared of it in the all-encompassing way. I'm scared that I'm going to fail at life, fail as a teacher, fail as a mother.

I really want to be good at all of these things, so it frightens me that I might not.

Scary #10

I'm really scared of having a child. I'm excited, but scared.


(Not like it's happening ANY time soon, just in case you were wondering.)

Scary #9

I'm really scared that when I start teaching, I'm going to hate it.

Scary #8

Mistakes.

I fear making mistakes, of anykind.

It's a dumb fear, I know. Everyone is bound to make a mistake, but I fear making them.

Maybe for the consequences that will face me once I've made the mistakes, or maybe I just want to pretend I can be perfect.

I don't really know.

Happy Birthday Tobin

My wonderful nephew was born two years ago today.

What a joy he has been in my life!

He LoVeS birds and his Aunt-T!
He is super smart and knows how to get what he wants... (not always a good thing)
He is not cuddley, and has never enjoyed being held (sad day for Tiffany)
He enjoys being outdoors, and could stay out in the yard from sun up to sun down if we let him.

I love you Tobin!

Scary #7

I start my new job today.

That's pretty frightening to me.

Scary #6 : Government

I'm really scared that one day, I'm going to wake up, and WWIII is going to have started overnight.

I don't really trust "the people in Washington" to protect me, because they have definately displayed lack of respect for my needs.

Scary #5

Is it weird that the one thing I want most in life, scares me the most?

I want to be married, when the time is right, but the idea scares me so much I almost don't.

That's pretty scary if you ask me.

Scary #4

The Dark.

I'm not particularly fond of being alone in the dark. No bueno.

Goals for October

So in a better time in my life, I used to write out goals every month of things I wanted to work on. I have been neglecting this practice for some time now, and I've decided I need to do this again.

I figure, maybe, by posting my goals to the world, I may actually better achieve them.




#1. Finish all of my homework before the day it's due.
#2. Spend $100 or less this month for everything. (Groceries, gas, clothing, extras)
#3. Make my bed every day, or at least every other day...
#4. Keep my room picked up and clean.
#5. Keep my desk cleared off.
#6. Go to bed at a reasonable time: 9:00-10:00
#7. Wake up at a reasonable time: 6:00-7:00
#8. Work out at least once a week. Perferrably 4x/week, but at least once a week.
#9. Vacuum once a week or more.
#10. Do my hair at least once a week. (As in more than a ponytail.)
#11. Talk to my family, aka Brent and Kale at least once a week.
#12. Reduce my Dr. Pepper consumption to 1 a day or less.
#13. Eat at least one fruit and one veggie a day.
#14. Pack my lunch to work and school so I don't get hungry.
#15. Make it home at least once this month.

I have other goals, like: get through Poe in the Dark without turning gray, but the above are ones that I need to do consistently, like after this month.

Wish me luck.

Scary #3 : Fish Out of Water

I love fish. Everything about fish, in water. I have goldfish and a betta in my apartment. My betta is my favorite. There is something special, magical about fish. But when they are out of water, (like when I accidentally poured my beta onto my desk instead of into his bowl) It scares me to death.

I don't really know why. Maybe because I think of them not being able to breath, because my lungs get caught in my throat and I freeze, and it is very hard for me to help my suffering friends out.

Scary #2 : Snakes

Snakes.

I just don't like them. At all.

I didn't mind them when I was little, and I mean really little.

I started to get really scared of them when I was... 8ish? Because I was within inches of a rattlesnake bite.

Now: I don't even like the fake rubber ones that you find at the store that look fake. That's how much I don't like them. (Let's hope I don't have too many boys for children :S)

Incidentally, this is what I found in the closet when I moved in.

(I feigned braveness until I realized it was fake.)

Scary #1 : Moolah

That's right, money scares me.

Especially right now.

I am in my last few semesters of college, the media is constantly hammering on about the economy and how bad it is, etc.

I can't finish school without money. I can't get money without a job. I can't get a job without finishing school. Horrific cycle.

I am lucky enough to say as of right now I have no student loans.

I am trying to keep it that way.

Scary Things

So,
I'm going to try doing "themed" blogs for a few months, just to try and see how I like it, as well as getting me out of my comfort zone.

For the month of October, I'm going to post "Scary things" or things that scare me. Pretty much the same thing, but maybe not.

You'll have to read and see.

Beautiful Ears

I was recounting a story to my roommates about how when I was small, like 4 or 5 years old, my grandma (dad's mom) wanted to pierce my ears.

My mom didn't think I was responsible enough to get my ears pierced, and explained that I was allowed to get them when I was baptized (8 years old).

My grandma didn't agree with my mom. She thought I needed to have earrings right then. Upon approaching me on the subject, while my mom was conveinently at work, she asked if I wanted my ears pierced. I said yes, more than anything, but my mom said I couldn't have them until I was 8.

My grandma's persuasion was that I needed to be beautiful. "Don't you want to be pretty and beautiful Tiffany? How do you think you will ever be beautiful if you don't have pierced ears?"

At five years old, I had already been informed that unless women are beautiful, they are worthless. That's what our society teaches our young girls and boys.

So I decided to be beautiful, and my grandma pierced my ears.

A letter for On High

Heavenly Father,

I wanted to especially thank you today.

I feel like today has been a day, as I say.

So, I wanted to thank you for my trials, even though they stink.

Thank you for my wonderful roommate who is an example of my Savior Jesus Christ in all that she does, and encourages me to more closely follow your pathway.

Thank you for this beautiful fall day we are having in little ol' Logan.

Thank you for loving me through all the stupid stuff I have done lately.

Thank you for helping me finish my homework that was due, because I procrastinated it.

Thank you for wiping away my tears last night.

Thank you for the job interviews I had on Wednesday.

Thank you for reminding what is most important in life.

Thank you for smiling down on me today.

Thank you for reminding me I’m never alone.

Thank you for continuing to hold me through the stink of my trials, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't know I could turn to you.

Thank you for loving me, always and unconditionally.

I've been missing you a lot lately, and wanted you to know, even though you already do.

Thanks for listening.
Love Always,
Your Daughter,
Tiffany Desiree

Something Happy

I needed a smile today.

I hope this helps yours too.

Normal to ME.

Is it weird I sometimes go to the bathroom while brushing my teeth?

Is it weird I pee my pants when I laugh too hard?

Is it weird I don't like to talk on the phone, to anyone?

Is it weird I like to wake up at 6:00 in the morning just to watch the sunrise?

Is it weird I like to go to the mall just to watch other people, and not to shop?

Is it weird I am content sitting in a park swing all day?

Is it weird I am going into education, but panic when I speak in front of a group?

Is it weird I get annoyed when people can't spell or use grammar correctly?

Is it weird I like to smell shoes?

Is it weird I buy things I want for my future home?

Is it weird my favorite genre is memoir?

Is it weird I am posting this?

Christmas is Early this Year

Christmas is HERE!

Can't you tell?

The smell of baked goodness in the kitchen...

Snow covered mountains, and snowmen in the yard...

The bite of wind that takes your breath away everytime you venture outside...

The taste of warm hot chocolate burning your tastebuds...

The drenched jeans and sore muscles...

Maybe not.

I wish it were Christmas tomorrow. Brent and Patricia are coming home with little Emma for Christmas this year.

I have not seen Brent in a really long time, and I miss him dearly.

When Christmas does come, it will have been 2 1/2 years since I have seen my brother.

I am so excited to have my whole family together for Christmas; something that has not happened since Brent left for his mission in January of 2003.

"Hurry Christmas, hurry fast... I can hardly stand the wait; Please Christmas don't be late."

"When I discover Who I am I'll be Free!"

When I was a sophmore in highschool, I painted this picture. My watercolor class was instructed to paint a picture based on the quote given. I drew this quote: "When I discover Who I am, I'll be free" by Ralph Ellison. I don't know who Ralph Ellison is, but this quote, changed my life. Let me tell you why.

Fastforward three years. I'm a freshman in college. There were so many people around me who I admired and aspired to be. So I became the person I thought they wanted me to be, a person that would be good enough for them. I wanted to be accepted, I didn't care what pieces of me were lost.

Fastforward. I'm now a sophmore in college. The friends I had freshman year, gone. Nothing was the same. I felt lost, disconnected. I attached to someone who did not help me grow in the gospel, in fact, held me back from the gospel. I changed to what he wanted me to be, so I could feel acceptance once again.

Fastforward. Over the next year to where we meet right now in the present, a lot of soul searching has been done. And I have realized this: I never was who I wanted to be, ever in my life. So while I have always LoVeD this quote, I've never actually taken it to heart, until recently.

In the past few months, I have discovered not only who I am, but who I want to be, who I can be, and most importantly: who I don't want to be.

I am now free.

Life Is Beautiful

So I haven't written in a while. Life's been a little crazy. A little too crazy.

But no matter what happens, life is beautiful.


Life will always be beautiful.