Scary Things

So,
I'm going to try doing "themed" blogs for a few months, just to try and see how I like it, as well as getting me out of my comfort zone.

For the month of October, I'm going to post "Scary things" or things that scare me. Pretty much the same thing, but maybe not.

You'll have to read and see.

Beautiful Ears

I was recounting a story to my roommates about how when I was small, like 4 or 5 years old, my grandma (dad's mom) wanted to pierce my ears.

My mom didn't think I was responsible enough to get my ears pierced, and explained that I was allowed to get them when I was baptized (8 years old).

My grandma didn't agree with my mom. She thought I needed to have earrings right then. Upon approaching me on the subject, while my mom was conveinently at work, she asked if I wanted my ears pierced. I said yes, more than anything, but my mom said I couldn't have them until I was 8.

My grandma's persuasion was that I needed to be beautiful. "Don't you want to be pretty and beautiful Tiffany? How do you think you will ever be beautiful if you don't have pierced ears?"

At five years old, I had already been informed that unless women are beautiful, they are worthless. That's what our society teaches our young girls and boys.

So I decided to be beautiful, and my grandma pierced my ears.

A letter for On High

Heavenly Father,

I wanted to especially thank you today.

I feel like today has been a day, as I say.

So, I wanted to thank you for my trials, even though they stink.

Thank you for my wonderful roommate who is an example of my Savior Jesus Christ in all that she does, and encourages me to more closely follow your pathway.

Thank you for this beautiful fall day we are having in little ol' Logan.

Thank you for loving me through all the stupid stuff I have done lately.

Thank you for helping me finish my homework that was due, because I procrastinated it.

Thank you for wiping away my tears last night.

Thank you for the job interviews I had on Wednesday.

Thank you for reminding what is most important in life.

Thank you for smiling down on me today.

Thank you for reminding me I’m never alone.

Thank you for continuing to hold me through the stink of my trials, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't know I could turn to you.

Thank you for loving me, always and unconditionally.

I've been missing you a lot lately, and wanted you to know, even though you already do.

Thanks for listening.
Love Always,
Your Daughter,
Tiffany Desiree

Something Happy

I needed a smile today.

I hope this helps yours too.

Normal to ME.

Is it weird I sometimes go to the bathroom while brushing my teeth?

Is it weird I pee my pants when I laugh too hard?

Is it weird I don't like to talk on the phone, to anyone?

Is it weird I like to wake up at 6:00 in the morning just to watch the sunrise?

Is it weird I like to go to the mall just to watch other people, and not to shop?

Is it weird I am content sitting in a park swing all day?

Is it weird I am going into education, but panic when I speak in front of a group?

Is it weird I get annoyed when people can't spell or use grammar correctly?

Is it weird I like to smell shoes?

Is it weird I buy things I want for my future home?

Is it weird my favorite genre is memoir?

Is it weird I am posting this?

Christmas is Early this Year

Christmas is HERE!

Can't you tell?

The smell of baked goodness in the kitchen...

Snow covered mountains, and snowmen in the yard...

The bite of wind that takes your breath away everytime you venture outside...

The taste of warm hot chocolate burning your tastebuds...

The drenched jeans and sore muscles...

Maybe not.

I wish it were Christmas tomorrow. Brent and Patricia are coming home with little Emma for Christmas this year.

I have not seen Brent in a really long time, and I miss him dearly.

When Christmas does come, it will have been 2 1/2 years since I have seen my brother.

I am so excited to have my whole family together for Christmas; something that has not happened since Brent left for his mission in January of 2003.

"Hurry Christmas, hurry fast... I can hardly stand the wait; Please Christmas don't be late."

"When I discover Who I am I'll be Free!"

When I was a sophmore in highschool, I painted this picture. My watercolor class was instructed to paint a picture based on the quote given. I drew this quote: "When I discover Who I am, I'll be free" by Ralph Ellison. I don't know who Ralph Ellison is, but this quote, changed my life. Let me tell you why.

Fastforward three years. I'm a freshman in college. There were so many people around me who I admired and aspired to be. So I became the person I thought they wanted me to be, a person that would be good enough for them. I wanted to be accepted, I didn't care what pieces of me were lost.

Fastforward. I'm now a sophmore in college. The friends I had freshman year, gone. Nothing was the same. I felt lost, disconnected. I attached to someone who did not help me grow in the gospel, in fact, held me back from the gospel. I changed to what he wanted me to be, so I could feel acceptance once again.

Fastforward. Over the next year to where we meet right now in the present, a lot of soul searching has been done. And I have realized this: I never was who I wanted to be, ever in my life. So while I have always LoVeD this quote, I've never actually taken it to heart, until recently.

In the past few months, I have discovered not only who I am, but who I want to be, who I can be, and most importantly: who I don't want to be.

I am now free.